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Appreciating the Sounds of Me

Written from a space of: Stage Fright

Photo by Michael C on Unsplash

I was on a journey to allow my voice and inner me to speak.

To love the sound of it, to enjoy the expression of it, to dance to the groove of it.

The highs and the lows, the nerves and the bravery was aching to come out.

I paused because I’ve been silenced for so long that I cringed at the music of my own voice.

But I did have a sweet voice.

It was delicate, yet powerful and it yearned to be free.

I stood there, ready.

My tummy filled with anxiety, nervous energy as I opened my mouth to speak.

At first, a laughter erupted, then a long sigh, and then a tear fell.

And then a smile.

My body shook.

No, not from fear but from the adrenaline this moment had brought on.

For years, I was someone’s puppet.

My mind to be controlled.

My actions to be conformed.

My emotions to portray intimidation.

In my hesitation, the small still voice of Toni Jones whispered: “remember, the version of you others created in their mind, is not your responsibility.”

I nodded my head, ready to proceed.

I whispered. I talked. I yelled.

And from the depths of my soul, a full, beautiful expression of who I was emerged…bloomed…and blossomed.

And it was all I ever dreamed it would be.

I was no longer bound to confinements, to imaginations, to small square boxes.

From that day forward I owned my truth, breathed my truth, felt my truth, and I lived out my truth.

I promised to be the person I see in the mirror, not the reflection in someone else’s glasses.

No longer tethered to thoughts of powerlessness. To the feelings of not being in control of my own life.

My natural self now on full display. To be enjoyed or not. Their choice.

For this was God’s gift to me on the day life was breathed into this body.

So now, I shared this gift with you.

Here it is. Here is me. All of me!

: Juanyta ~ with a ‘y’


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